Americans Don't Understand English | The Jonathan Ross Show

ruticker 07.03.2025 7:25:28

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The thing about Americans that I've thought about the language is that they say they speak English, but they've had to change it to make them understand it more. Go with me on this because I've thought it through. They've changed some of the words, so they've taken the English language, but they've looked at some of it and they thought, "No, no, I think we need a little bit more explanation here." Okay, that's my American accent. So, things like **pavement**—they can't work with pavement, so they've changed it to **sidewalk**. They needed more information; they needed to know where they were going to be walking so that they wouldn't get run over. So that's—I didn't think of that: pavement, sidewalk. I think there must have been a period of time where they ran with the word pavement, but they kept getting hit by cars, so they changed it to sidewalk. Now bear with me here, John, 'cause I've thought this through. Yes, **bin**—the word for bin—an American calls it a **waste paper basket**. They needed to know not only what to put in it, but they needed to know that not only was it paper, but **waste paper**, and then it goes into a **basket**. It's not just any paper; they kept throwing away fresh paper for a period before they introduced the word waste paper basket. You see, it's like they need instructions. **Glasses** for your eyes—they call them **eyeglasses**. They needed to know where to put them on their face because they used to have glasses and they would put them on their thighs and they would put them on their feet and they would say, "I can't see any better with their glasses." And then somebody went, "No, they're eyeglasses." Well, why didn't you call them eyeglasses? There's a game called **squash**—have you heard of it? Yes, not in America. It's **racquetball**. They needed to know what they were going to be playing with: a racquetball. And even then, they get confused because there's no court; they don't know where to go. They just wander through the street going, "I want to play racquetball! I want to play racquetball!" So they're probably going to have to change that. But my favorite one, without a shadow of a doubt, is **horse riding**. Do you know what horse riding is in America? Is it not called horse riding? No, it's **horseback riding**. They have to specify the area of the **H**. Well, yes, there were terrible problems because there was a period of time when they didn't call it horse. Where did they go? They used to hold on to the tail. "Are you sure this is how they ride the horses in Europe?" That's a whole different thing you're doing there. I—anybody who's watching the show who may have been flicking the channels, that's not a moment. No, no, no, this was a story about American descriptive words. I've never been in the mile high club, so wait, Harry, what are you waiting for? Come on, we know the answer. But, uh, who was the closest to him in the band? I think when we were in the band, yeah, maybe it was me. And, you know, I think we all kind of noticed that he wasn't thoroughly enjoying it, and we were. And, um, you know, it can be an intense job at times, and I think it got a little bit too much for him, and he wanted to be in a different place. And that's fair enough.

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